Oppo Review: 2009 Ford Super Duty

"Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa) 05/13/2014 at 23:46 • Filed to: None

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I have felt what it is like to drive a mountain, and I have launched that mountain into the air over some railroad tracks.

Disclaimer: Ford wanted me to drive this truck so badly they did exactly nothing and my friend let me drive his instead. I accepted, but got no pictures since it was 4 in the morning

When people think "big truck" they're usually thinking of a heavy-duty slab of American "F**k you" riding on enormous round pieces of rubber with a hungry engine making tons of power, and an aftermarket lift kit.

I have driven their GOD.

And I was underwhelmed. Let us begin.

Looks: 8/10

There isn't much to say about the looks of the F250. It is a truck. It has a cab, it has a bed, it has a hood, it has a grille. I took off two points because I think Ford makes some of the ugliest, most ridiculous grilles in the business. This is better than most Ford truck grilles (chicken wire mesh? Really?), but still not fantastic. The example I drove was dark grey and had freshly been washed, waxed, and even had the tires clean. For about four hours, then it was back to work. I have no idea why.

Interior: 4/10

Ew. I understand that the F250 is a work truck, but the interior made me wonder if I had accidentally gotten into a 10-year-old Ford E-series, or if Ford started letting PT-Cruiser-era Chrysler do their interiors. It was bland, didn't feel terribly well put-together, plastic EVERYWHERE, and worst of all no aux jack was present.

The redeeming features were the many cavernous hidey-holes for body parts, and the boost gauge was immensely entertaining.

Engine: 9/10

Until now the only diesel-powered car I'd driven was a 2005 Passat TDI wagon. This, while essentially the same thing (turbocharged diesel! yay!), gave me strange feelings in my pants region I still can not fully explain.

This particular truck came with the 6.4l PowerStroke pushing out 350hp and a planet-shifting 650 ft-lb of torque. I'm pretty sure that during the course of our shenanigans that night we shifted the position of Earth slightly and extended the night. Acceleration isn't fast by any means, but it feels like a completely unstoppable force of nature, combined with the 6000lb weight of the truck, it makes you feel like a demigod.

I found it mildly amusing the best part of this truck was, in fact, not made by Ford (please don't kill me for making jokes at Ford's expense. It entertains me)

Audio: 9/10

The noise.

Oh my god the noise.

The noise shall charm my dreams and fuel my erections for years to come. The reason? Turbochargers. Two of them, working in sequence to give you torque for DAYS. A small turbocharger that can spin up quickly gives you power more quickly, while a larger turbo spins up to make sure you have enough power to drive it home through the rev range. The result is one of the most pronounced turbo whines I've ever heard, and if you let off the gas at the right time a FANTASTIC blow-off noise causes a sudden need for a change of pants. I'm not sure how good the speakers are because I turned them off as soon as I heard the delicious sound of forced induction (from what I heard they were pretty mediocre).

I did a few burnouts and acceleration tests and the boost gauge on the dashboard said I was making an astronomical 35PSI of boost to that gargantuan six-point-who-cares liter mover of mountains.

I quite like it.

Total: (sequential turbos/100)

I love this truck, but hate it at the same time. For the money (the owner is about to unload it for $47k) I really do expect more from a truck. Yes, it's utilitarian, but it is so utilitarian it slaps you in the face with it . The interior is depressing and functional, the exterior is bland and uninspiring, all of which is overshadowed by a magnificent engine. Of course, this being the first truck like this that I've driven, I'm not quite sure what I'm dealing with. I just know that the dome lights are in a ridiculous position and the radio is certifiably retarded.

But there is no denying how much fun it is to go 55mph over a banked railroad crossing, feel all four wheels leave the ground and a moment of silence as the engine is slowed down by traction control and you soar through the air before landing surprisingly gently on the other side, your heart bursting from your chest.

'Murica

Deven > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 05/14/2014 at 00:01

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Trucks are amazing!! Compared to what you drove though my F150 is like driving the escape compared to the expedition

Opposite Locksmith > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 05/14/2014 at 00:01

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you said retarded

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Opposite Locksmith 05/14/2014 at 00:05

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I did.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Deven 05/14/2014 at 00:05

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I hate to say it, but I think I understand the appeal of bro trucks now.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 05/14/2014 at 00:08

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I've ridden in quite a few diesel trucks, and my God will a tuned Duramax change you mind about bro trucks in a hurry.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 05/14/2014 at 00:14

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The owners only lament about this truck was that it "wasn't a Chevy" so I'll be interested to drive the inevitable Chevy that replaces it when he sells it next month.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 05/14/2014 at 00:23

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There are reasons to not drive a 6.4 Powerstroke. It makes the V-8-6-4 look reliable.

6shelBfan6 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 05/14/2014 at 01:44

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While I am a huge fan of the big Ford, I'd like to know what kind of idiot would pay 47k for a 2009 regardless of mileage/condition/options.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > 6shelBfan6 05/14/2014 at 10:11

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Kansas, man. Large trucks stay on the lot for less than 24 hours.

Deven > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 05/14/2014 at 11:09

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See I like trucks that are leveled and have bigger tires to off road with. But bro trucks are still a touchy subject. I just don't see the point in a 6" lift if you only put 35" tires on them, it looks kinda weird

cnessel27 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 05/17/2014 at 21:09

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This is not the interior of a 2009. The newest this interior could be is 2007. In 2008 along with the newish 6.4, Ford compleatly re'dun the interior of the super duties.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > cnessel27 05/17/2014 at 21:09

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pictures are hard

cnessel27 > cnessel27 05/17/2014 at 21:09

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hahaha I said duty

cnessel27 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 05/17/2014 at 21:12

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6.4's make weather forecasts look reliable.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > cnessel27 05/17/2014 at 21:23

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Accuweather forecasts.

cnessel27 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 05/17/2014 at 21:33

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They are, so are the interiors of the Ford trucks. If you get a chance to drive a fresh 2011+ the seats are like recliners, but that's the only improvement, asides from the sweet incline-o'meter in the digital dash, plus there's a digital dash.